


And All that Comes After

by JackedofSpades



Category: Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie
Genre: Alcohol, Begging, Breathplay, Come Eating, Drunkenness, F/F, Face Slapping, Finger Sucking, Frottage, Hand & Finger Kink, Hand Jobs, Light Choking, Light breathplay, Loud Sex, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay, Voice Kink, i'm going with f/f because both characters use canon she/her pronouns, idk how to tag Radchaai gender stuff tbh, so good luck if you're unfamiliar with IR lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:13:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6735754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackedofSpades/pseuds/JackedofSpades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this started as a "do a Radchaai hand kink fic" and it quickly got out of control. I've chosen the genital configurations I used based on my preference for what I wanted to do in this fic, specifically. I'll almost certainly be writing more fics where Seivarden and/or Breq have different configurations, so if you're not a fan of what I did in this one, look forward to that I guess?</p><p>Anyway this is super filthy and clearly everything that Seivarden could ever want from Breq. Who could blame her.</p><p>Edit: Forgot to tag for Seivarden been intoxicated in the fic. I don't see it as a consent issue myself knowing the character and the fact that consent checked on and asked for several times in the fic, but I'm tagging it in case that is an issue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And All that Comes After

**Author's Note:**

> Also thanks to [grimark](http://grimark.tumblr.com/) for helping me edit this and yelling at me to work on it while they wrote [Steady](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700912). I earned that kangaroo.

“How has it been, in the meetings?” Seivarden asked casually, a small smile on her face as she poured her Captain's tea. She knelt before a small table, her legs folded over several plush cushions. The furnishings had been at the insistence of Kalr Five. Perhaps rightfully, she’d argued for Fleet Captain’s Undergarden quarters to finally be decorated and furnished. After the chaos of the last few weeks had died down, Breq had allowed it, knowing that Kalr would have likely kept insisting either way.

Breq and Seivarden had seen relatively little of each other since the fall of Anaander Mianaai. Breq had been in and out often, seeing to the numerous tasks one would expect to pile up when one was trying to build an entirely new nation. Seivarden had managed command on _Mercy of Kalr_ in tandem with Lieutenant Ekalu for the majority of that time, but with the protection of the Presger treaty now extending to AIs, there had been rather little to do besides keep the ship and its soldiers clean and in shape, ready for whatever new future might be pushed upon them.

Breq had noticed, recently, that Seivarden had taken to remaining on Station. Even more recently, she had come back to her quarters to find her asleep in her bed at the end of another day of meetings. Breq didn't bother to address it; didn't feel the need.

Breq did not answer her lieutenant's question, as she walked towards her, silently taking the chipped enamel bowl held out to her. She considered sitting for a moment, but glancing down noticed Seivarden was giving her _that_ look again. She stayed standing.

“It's been a lot of the same, really,” Breq answered, nine seconds later.

“Sounds like fun,” Seivarden said as if there had been no pause. She let out a small laugh after that, her gaze still set on Breq, who sipped her tea as she seemingly stared at the wall.

Seivarden's emotions fluttered through Breq's mind. Breq had taken to reaching for her thoughts again. She was hesitant still with the rest of her crew, but with Seivarden, the forced privacy seemed just that. After a time, Seivarden realized Breq had been abstaining from pulling her data and it seemed she'd taken to broadcasting her thoughts to Breq anyway, even during meetings. After several stop and go discussions while she worked, Breq had simply gotten back in the habit of reaching, if only to get some peace.

Sitting before her, Seivarden's readings were normal, as far as Breq could tell; elevated heart rate and temperature, slight pupil dilation, aside. Nothing abnormal to explain that ridiculous way she'd taken to clenching her fist to focus her thoughts instead of crossing her arms, nothing to explain the lazy smile on her face for no apparent reason.

“Lieutenant, are you drunk?”

Seivarden looked up, something half between amusement and horror on her face. Breq met her eyes, expressionless herself until the moment passed.

“Breq, you know I'm not.”

Breq, not Captain.

Seivarden shifted then, attempting to appear unperturbed by the bluntness of the question, her downcast eyes an obvious tell, another little laugh issuing from her.

Breq sighed, pulled up the data. Seivarden's blood alcohol content flashed before her eyes quickly. Breq allowed a small frown to show on her face.

“0.0832.”

“You _do_ still check,” Seivarden said with a smile that broke across her face far too widely.

“Seivarden.”

“Captain?”

Breq turned then, watching as Seivarden clutched her cup with both hands, trying to keep her face blank. Her heart rate spiked as their eyes met again, but her calm demeanor held. Breq stared after her another moment but said nothing as she moved to finally take a seat on her bed, a little way off from the table.

For a moment, they sat sipping their tea, and then Seivarden spoke silently:

“ _There's no reason I shouldn't have a drink or two after my work assignment,”_ she said without looking.

“ _There should be,”_ Breq said as she set the cup aside.

“ _Order me not to drink, then.”_

Breq glanced toward Seivarden then, out of the corner of her eye, before falling back on the bed, her tea bowl empty, lying next to her. She checked in with _Mercy of Kalr_ , briefly saw Ekalu in command, confident, if a bit bored. Nothing pressing, nothing Ekalu or her Etrepas couldn't handle. She flipped to Kalr Five, silently getting ready to bed down for the night herself. She was not far, her own small quarters within a minute's walk if she was needed.

“You're not really mad at me,” Seivarden said, interrupting Breq's thoughts. Breq did not move to get up, nor acknowledge she had heard, but she knew Seivarden knew she was listening.

“Just like how you don't really dislike me, not really.”

“ _You phrase that awkwardly,”_ Breq replied only a second later, the back of one gloved hand coming up to her forehead.

“There's no other way to phrase that, Breq,” Seivarden replied with the hint of a laugh.

“ _You're being obtuse.”_

“I'm drunk.”

A crash suddenly pulled Breq up to a sitting position to catch the last second of Seivarden spilling her tea, falling sideways as she attempted to grab the bowl from midair. She laid crumpled for a moment, until she righted herself with one arm, the enamel bowl held aloft, unbroken.

“Saved it.”

Breq held her head in her hand as Seivarden sat back up, wiping tea off of her jacket. She struggled for a moment, but then took it for a lost cause, deciding instead to simply remove her jacket and shirt. She sat bare chested for a moment, a moony sort of grin on her face as she tossed the jacket in a heap near the door. Breq watched it go, thinking vaguely of how angry Kalr Five would be in the morning.

“ _Are you done?”_ Breq asked silently, not trusting judgment to stay out of  her tone if she spoke.

Seivarden's reply was not at all what Breq had expected. Instead of a snarky quip or angry snap, she began to sing. Her lovely voice and aristocratic accent did nothing to save the garble of words that came out of her mouth, and she laughed as she sang, clearly enjoying herself, or at least the distress she imagined it was causing Breq.

Without thinking, Breq stood, ancillary-quick, crossing the room until she was looming over Seivarden. Her gloved hand muffled the excuse of a song until it was snuffed out by Seivarden's shock as much as by force. Breq did not remove her hand as the sound died, instead she glared down at Seivarden, warning in her eyes where words were unneeded.

A charge seemed to spark where Breq touched her, even behind her gloves,  and Breq tilted Seivarden’s head up just so, her pinky wedged under her chin a hint of her intent. Seivarden moved with her  immediately, her mind sharpening in seconds at the touch.

Breq felt Seivarden lick her teeth behind her lips as she swallowed hard. Breq pressed harder at that, her other hand coming up behind Seivarden's head, her fingers firmly wrapping around the thick cords of her hair, tugging them harder than what was strictly necessary. For some reason, she felt the need to allow Seivarden to know she did not wish her harm. Breq smiled down at her, an attempt at reassuring that seemingly came across predatory.

“ _Holy shit,”_ Seivarden said silently, unable to do so out loud, completely undisturbed by the fact.

“Don't ever sing like that again.”

“ _Are you kidding me?”_

They paused, taking in the somewhat ludicrous scene they made together. Breq stood over Seivarden, her grip on her hair slackened as she stood up straight, and then she moved to pull the hand over Seivarden's mouth back. Alarm flashed across her lieutenant's face, and before Breq could register what she was doing, Seivarden was biting her fingers.

Seivarden tilted her head up, half defiant, half victorious as she reached, wrapping her own fingers around Breq's wrist. She pulled at it roughly, her mouth opening only enough to force Breq's fingers in a little more. Seivarden fidgeted then, adjusting her folded legs until she knelt before Breq, her eyes wide with admiration and a hint of fear.

“What are you doing?” Breq asked genuinely, confusion playing across her face in an attempt to seem sincere.

“I miss you,” Seivarden said a bit muffled, nibbling and licking at Breq's glove as she spoke.

“I don't understand,” Breq replied matter-of-factly to what she assumed was a non sequitur.

A wave of despair came from Seivarden, then something defiant. She bit the end of Breq's thumb before letting go, and began to sing again, louder and even worse than before. It took only a second for Breq to cover her mouth once again.

“Stop that,” Breq said, her expression calm but her eyes hard.

“ _You're doing a great job of making me as it is.”_

More defiance, and excitement. Breq knew where this would go, if she let it. She didn't feel like taking Seivarden to medical at this hour.

“What do you want?” Breq tried, her tone slipping to something more amicable.

“ _You.”_

A huge spike from Seivarden then. Anxiety. Release of catecholamines. Coritsol, dopamine and serotonin. Sex hormones too, though they had been in her system from the beginning.

Breq shifted her grip, quick enough that Seivarden wouldn't protest at the loss. Breq grabbed Seivarden’s chin, pinning her cheeks between thumb and forefinger. Seivarden gazed up at Breq and made no move to break the hold; on the contrary, she leaned into it, a hand of her own finding it's way to rest on Breq's thigh.

“Why?”

The hand at Breq's thigh tightened. And though she did not move her face, Seivarden cast her eyes down. Another cocktail of hormones and adrenaline spiked. She didn't answer.

“Seivarden.”

“Why are _you_ doing this?” Seivarden asked suddenly, some new revelation dawning on her in her haze of nerves and intoxication.

“ _Perhaps you should answer your lieutenant, just this once, cousin,”_ Station said suddenly into Breq's ear, the comment perhaps a vague observation, but more likely a subtle reminder of it’s presence.

“ _Thank you for your insight, Station,”_ Breq answered silently.

Breq was forced to consider, as defiance flared in her lieutenant again. She had never examined it to closely, why she liked when Seivarden fought her. Someone else might see it for something base, a self-indulgent quirk. But thinking about it now, Breq thought it was very likely that it was simply that when Seivarden was defiant, when Seivarden was emotional, it meant she was alive, that she wished to continue to be. Breq prefered that to the alternative. How many times had Seivarden given her a spiteful look before she was off to find a corrective for it? How many times had they laid together in bed, damaged and bruised from their own hubris? How many times had it all turned out all right, in the end?

The most obvious response to Seivarden’s query would be to shut her down, to get Seivarden unconscious one way or another. Sleep was preferred. They had been burning through correctives as of late. Perhaps that was Station's true concern. Or, perhaps...

“Have you ever considered what I might want for once, Seivarden?” Breq answered finally.

“I consider it every day, actually,” Seivarden replied playfully, her words slightly muffled by Breq's grip on her face.

“And yet, this is how you choose to spend your free time.”

Seivarden glared at her shrewdly, and considered pulling her face away from Breq's grip. Breq reached and saw a flash of anger, then resignation. Breq felt Seivarden’s resistance flag under her grip, and then felt Seivarden sink back onto her heels where before she had been poised on them.

Several seconds passed in silence, and then Seivarden rolled her eyes.

“Aatr's _tits_ , Breq. If you want me to leave, just tell me.”

Breq's grip slackened, and her hand fell to Seivarden's collarbone. Softly, seemingly forgetting her offer to leave, Seivarden wrapped her hand around Breq's, holding it there, suspended in the space between them. Their eyes met, and something in Breq shifted. She became aware again, of that intangible feeling: the “what now” that had followed her continued existence, unanswered, since she successfully managed her 16 year mission. She blinked, and then saw Seivarden kneeling before her anew.

“ _I didn't say I wanted you to leave.”_

Breq pulled her hand back, and knowing Seivarden wouldn't let go, used the resistance to slip her hand from the glove. Seivarden watched as Breq’s bare hand turned, watched as she gestured for Seivarden to hand her the glove. Reverently, she did, reaching for Breq's other hand as it came down to meet her, and pulled off the second glove as well.

The smallest sigh escaped Seivarden’s lips as Breq ran her bare fore and middle finger down Seivarden’s cheek. It was much too warm, and Breq vaguely remembered Seivarden was intoxicated.

"You drank before coming here, hoping something like this would happen, didn't you?"

“Yeah.”

A pause, as Breq withdrew her hand. Seivarden whined at the loss, bounced on her calves, fighting the desire to stand and force Breq’s bare hands onto her skin. Breq waited for her to settle, patient as death.

“We’ve gotten so close to it before, Breq. I thought maybe if I waited, if I could just prove to you I’d gotten better, that I could be good, I thought maybe…”

“You got drunk, spilled tea all over yourself, and bit my hand, Seivarden.”

Seivarden laughed genuinely at the truth and absurdity of the statement, and Breq felt something in her stomach tense, coil and writhe until it subsided. She reached for Seivarden’s chin and cupped it.

“Well, it’s true. I don't manage well without you, we know this,” Seivarden offered with a smile up towards Breq.

“It’s not as dramatic when you don’t make any effort to do so,” Breq replied, her face impassive even as her insides continued to fight her.

“That’s because I don’t want to be without you,” Seivarden hummed, her voice a shade lower than a moment ago, “Do I really have to keep spelling this out to you, Breq?”

Breq watched as Seivarden’s mouth hung open after her last word, her lips parted wetly. She brushed her thumb against Seivarden’s lower lip, and read the waves of shock and pleasure that washed over her at the simple touch.

“Possibly.”

A single little “ha” came from Seivarden at that, but soon they settled into silence. Breq continued to brush her thumb across Seivarden’s lip, back and forth, as if there was nothing to it; as if they did this every day.

It was mutually pleasant for several seconds, but of course, Seivarden’s patience thinned soon after, and she pushed for more. With some hesitation, Seivarden moved to take off one of her own gloves. She glanced up at Breq, in supplication. With a subtle nod, Breq granted her permission. Seivarden ripped her glove off hastily, and then the next. After tossing them aside, she reached up with both hands, one gripping Breq’s wrist, the other moving to knit between the fingers Breq curled around her face.

For a moment, Breq lost her to the act, and she watched as Seivarden ran fingertips down her knuckles, stopping here and there to press harder, to sigh, to simply delight in bare fingers against her own. Seivarden’s thoughts were blown, emotions flittering too quickly for Breq to make sense of, which was a tell in itself.

 _“You’ve seen me like this before,”_ Breq said silently, not quite wanting to break Seivarden’s revelry.

 _“Not like this,”_ Seivarden replied silently, quickly, _“This time you’re letting me.”_

That didn’t sound right to Breq, but for some reason, it held true. Breq cocked her thumb up from where it was stroking Seivarden’s lip and let her nail bite into the flesh. She pushed, only enough to expose Seivarden’s teeth, to see her open her mouth wide, to cause her to moan with pleasure. Breq, somewhat surprised, found she rather liked the sound.

“Be good,” Breq said aloud, her only warning before pressing the pad of her thumb past Seivarden’s lips.

Seivarden gasped at the intrusion, her grip tightening around Breq’s wrist as a moan emanated from her, low and wanton. Breq could hear her own name in that sound, though Seivarden spoke no true words.

Breq pushed her thumb in deeper.

“ _Fuck._ ”

Seivarden’s free hand joined her other at Breq’s wrist, clutching it as much for support as to pull Breq closer. She gasped as Breq rolled the pad of her thumb against the flat of her tongue, Seivarden’s eyes becoming lidded and heavy.

 _“You’re forgetting to breathe,”_ Breq said silently, even as she hummed, pleased, at the sputtering sounds Seivarden made against her thumb. The sounds seemed to land on Breq’s skin, lighting up her nerves with their sudden rawness. She widened her stance, her legs suddenly feeling uncomfortably close together.

Seivarden inhaled sharply at Breq’s silent reminder, but then immediately forgot it, holding her breath as she closed her lips over Breq’s thumb knuckle, her tongue flicking and wrapping around it as she sucked on it.

With her free hand, Breq again threaded fingers into Seivarden’s hair, tugging at it, forcing Seivarden to open her mouth. Breq withdrew her thumb and found herself smiling naturally at the whine of protest that accompanied the action. Another spike of panic came from Seivarden then, then anxiety, and then fear.

“Breq, please,” Seivarden begged in a small, frantic voice. She seemed to accept defeat even as she formed the words, even as her bare hands reached out, chasing Breq’s fingers. To her very great surprise, Breq reached a hand towards her, and she greedily clasped both hands around it.

“I told you to be good,” Breq said quietly, “Breathe.”

“Yes, Breq,” Seivarden replied eagerly, desperate to prove herself. She took several even breaths, eyes closed, almost meditative. Slowly, Seivarden withdrew her hands back, determination creasing her brow but otherwise appearing passive, obedient. Breq took that time to remove her jacket, carefully placing it aside on its rack before returning to stand before Seivarden.

Seivarden opened her eyes as Breq’s fingertips slid under her chin again. Looking up, she found Breq appraising her with a measured expression, her arms and neck now exposed in the thin undershirt. Seivarden could only stare, refusing to take the time to wonder at the reality of the situation. But then, a reckless thought came to mind.

_“Breq.”_

_“Yes?”_

_“May I ask something of you; something I’m not sure you’ll want to be asked?”_

_“You’re going to do so either way, but yes.”_

_“Will you hit me?”_

Breq’s expression shifted from neutral to something more akin to exasperation. Seivarden winced at the change, but didn’t break eye contact, defying Breq to deny her, defying Breq to take a step backwards. She gambled, knowing which direction Breq usually favored.

 _“You mean this to be sexual, me striking you,”_ A statement, not a question.

_“Yes, Breq.”_

Breq’s expression cleared, returning to its ancillary blankness for a moment. Seivarden hedged her bet, taking in every detail she could about this moment, committing it to memory, should this be as far as they ever got. She remembered to breathe.

Three seconds passed, and then Breq raised her hands to chest height, threading her fingers together to make a steeple. She forced them down, a chorus of cracks sounding from the influx of synovial fluid.

“All right.”

It took everything Seivarden had not to blurt out her thoughts, to sit silently and watch as Breq cracked the second set of joints, balling each fist into the opposite palm and then pressing them against each other. By the time Breq had backed up, lightly swinging her wrists and arms to loosen them, Seivarden had begun to feel dizzy, the combined result of euphoria, latent intoxication, and a rather quick redistribution of blood to her groin. She very much hoped Breq saw all of it.

_“I can see it without looking into your head.”_

Breq stepped forward again, not quite as close as before, as Seivarden tried to hide the smile on her face. Succeeding only half way in clearing her face of emotion, Seivarden straightened her posture, balling her hands into fists at her sides as her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She breathed through her nose, looking up as Breq raised an eyebrow at her.

 _“Yes, I’m sure,”_ Seivarden shot to her silently, anticipating the question. Breq’s expression cleared, and she nodded, yet she did not swing. Something in her posture seemed to suggest hesitation. Warmth bloomed in Seivarden’s chest as she realized why, and then the blow fell.

Ancillary quick, Breq’s open hand came down across Seivarden’s noble features. A stinging pain flashed across half of Seivarden’s face before it crested, bloomed, and dissolved into a warm heat. Seivarden licked at the inside of the cheek that was struck, feeling the sensitized skin prickle again with an aftershock of pain.

Seivarden had expected something much harder.

_“I’m not going to hit you like that.”_

_“I wasn’t asking for that. Who would ask for that?”_

Breq let that question hang unanswered, and she thought of Seivarden lying unconscious on the floor of Strigan’s hut. It seemed like another lifetime, like they were different people now. A strange concept, to feel that way with only one body.

She raised her hand again, this time impacting Seivarden’s other cheek with the back of her hand, her knuckles landing square on her cheekbone. It was a harder, more solid strike, but not meant to injure. Not really.

 _“Better,”_ Seivarden said silently as she reached up, touching her face with a smile. The pain seemed to have a sobering effect on her, Breq noticed, even as Seivarden’s blood alcohol content flashed into her line of vision, nearly unchanged since they started whatever it was they were doing.

“Again,” Seivarden said when Breq paused, but added quickly, silently, _“Please, Breq.”_

 _“Say that aloud,”_ Breq found herself demanding before she thought to say it. Seivarden gave her a quick, plaintive look, even as Breq felt another wave of pleasure and excitement wash over Seivarden.

“Please hit me again, Breq.”

Before Seivarden could even close her mouth, Breq’s hand flashed across her vision, slapping her harder than the first time. Seivarden reeled at it, the alcohol slowing her reaction, and she reached blindly to catch herself. But then she thought better of it at the last moment, preferring to lose her balance over touching dirty ground with her bare hand.

Breq got to her before the ground, one hand bracing her shoulder while the other met Seivarden’s face, gently this time.

“Are you all right?” Breq asked, tone flat.

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Seivarden replied only a little breathless.

“We should stop. I’ll hurt you.”

_“No.”_

Seivarden looked up into Breq’s eyes, her pupils blown and lip trembling with want. She was still worried, still concerned Breq would walk out, would leave her alone. For the first time in a long while, she looked vulnerable, her smug cockiness and defiance gone, completely.

She pulled Breq’s hand from her face and carefully, as if holding a fragile teacup, pressed her lips to the back of Breq’s hand. Then Seivarden let go, sat back, closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths. Breq felt her stomach clench, and refused to name why.

“Do you still want to have sex with me?” Breq asked after 11 seconds.

Shock, and another dose of adrenaline raced through Seivarden at Breq’s ever tactful bluntness. Yet either because Breq allowed her to see, or because she had spent enough time with her, Seivarden could feel a thin undercurrent of reassurance in her eyes, and a hint of fear from Breq herself.

“Of course I do.”

Breq squatted down to her knees, slowly, as a human would, until she was eye level with Seivarden. They held each others’ gaze for a moment, and then Breq spoke:

“All right, but we stop when I say stop.”

It wasn’t until Breq’s lips were on Seivarden’s that she even registered that Breq had agreed to have sex with her. But then the thought melted quickly, burned off by the feeling of Breq finally, _finally_ kissing her. Seivarden had always imagined it differently. She’d assumed she would have been the one to do it, to ruin it too most likely, over eager in a stolen attempt to claim the intimacy she craved.

This was so much better.

 _“I’ll be good for you, Breq. I promise,”_ Belatedly she replied, silent as she reached to cup Breq’s face, pulling her closer, her confidence growing with each second Breq did not pull away. Disbelief was dissolving into desire, the buildup of so many months of near-death situations and need propelling her into Breq’s arms.

“ _Your lips are softer than I thought they’d be,”_ Seivarden said silently when some of the shock ebbed, when she was sure Breq would allow this to continue.

“ _Is that a bad thing?”_

_“No, not at all. I suppose it makes sense; you only use them to sing.”_

“ _That’s not true.”_

Breq bit softly into Seivarden’s lower lip, playfully, yet also as if she was truly unsure of how hard she should do so. She’d never kissed before, never wasted time with it, with her ancillaries. Perhaps she should have, she thought, as she deepened their kiss and felt Seivarden’s heart skip a beat.

Seivarden trilled as Breq’s teeth sunk into her lips, her hands moving from Breq’s face to lace behind her neck. She’d pull her on top of her, if she could, but knew better than to try. She would only take what Breq offered. She would be good.

Breq pulled back from the kiss to readjust herself, her balance questionable at best in a squat. Seivarden made room, relaxing her own posture and falling out of her kneeling position to sit on her side, her legs half bent away from her. Breq moved in closer, settling herself comfortably on the cushions surrounding them, her legs pressed firmly against Seivarden’s.

Unsure, Seivarden leaned in, wanting to feel Breq’s lips again. She stopped short, watched as Breq studied her wordlessly. Breq blinked slowly, a calculated show of ease, and gave just the slightest hint of a nod. As Seivarden closed the distance between them, Breq reached a hand up, letting her fingers trail down Seivarden’s bare chest.

 _“You’re allowed to touch me, you know,”_ Breq said silently, noticing Seivarden’s hand half curled and hesitant in the air.

 _“Oh,”_ Seivarden thought, and then without thinking added, “ _That won’t bother you, me touching you, uh, well, touching you more intimately?”_

_“I assumed it would have to happen, when I consented to having sex with you.”_

_“Right. Still not quite used to that. Sorry.”_

_“No need for apology. Here, maybe this will help.”_

Breq opened her mouth, and while Seivarden was distracted with the new found sensation of her tongue sliding against Breq’s, Breq reached for both of Seivarden’s wrists, pulling her hands up and forcing her palms flat against her breasts.

“ _This is an erogenous zone, yes?”_

Seivarden sputtered into Breq’s mouth in response, unintentionally tightening her grip on Breq’s breasts, utterly unable to respond. Breq was unsure how to read her response. Seivarden’s emotions were too intense to get an accurate reading from any longer. Breq tried again.

_“Is this not desired? We can move on to something else, if you’d prefer.”_

Seivarden still didn’t answer but made a quick, desperate sound against Breq’s mouth. She shook her head, and tentatively ran her thumb over Breq’s nipple. Even through the fabric of Breq’s shirt, the touch caused Seivarden to groan. Breq took that for interest, and leaned into Seivarden’s hands, encouraging her to do as she pleased.

 _“Should I remove my clothing?”_ Breq asked when Seivarden’s hesitant exploration turned to earnest petting.

Seivarden broke off from their kissing at that, seemingly overloaded. Self-consciously, she looked down into her own lap and saw her erection very obviously displayed against her thigh, tight behind her pants. She looked back up to find Breq’s gaze focused between Seivarden’s legs as well, a mix of clinical appraisal and curiosity on her face. A strange sense of embarrassment and pride registered in Seivarden’s mind at Breq’s genuine interest in her anatomy. She realized this time it wasn’t going to have to be hidden, tucked away and forgotten in sleep when Breq’s arm wrapped around her in the middle of the night.

“Just. Just, give me a second,” Seivarden said in a quick whisper, then added, “Please.”

Without waiting for a response from Breq, she reached quickly into her pants, righting her erection to lay somewhat more comfortably, flat against her stomach, still concealed yet much more obviously displayed. Breq watched her, impassive, and Seivarden gave her a nervous smile.

“We’re really doing this,” Seivarden half asked, half stated, abandoning any false confidence.

“We’re attempting to, it seems,” Breq said, and then her face broke, her still expression transforming to what could only be described as a warm smile. Suddenly Seivarden’s confidence was back, her stomach flipping with joy as her hands dipped to curl around the hem of Breq’s shirt. With a silent exchange of approval, Seivarden lifted Breq’s shirt above her head, and tossed it gently aside.

It was as if it was the first time Seivarden was seeing her, though they’d been half-naked and more together often enough. Strangely, what was off putting was how calm Breq remained, even as Seivarden read emotion on her usually bare features, certain now that it was not Seivarden’s wishful thinking that placed them there.

Another thing struck Seivarden, as her eyes inevitably focused on Breq’s breasts. Whenever she’d caught a glimpse of them before, in the baths or in the dim light before bed, they’d not seemed what they were now. Now, Breq’s nipples were taut, dusky, and a little swollen from Seivarden’s earlier attention. It was the first proof Seivarden had ever had that she could have such an effect on Breq. Seivarden’s own chest swelled with pride while much lower, she swelled with lust.

 _“You like it, me touching them,”_ Seivarden said silently as she returned, eager, to cup Breq’s breasts, enjoying the soft, heavy weight of them against her slender fingers. She pushed them together, marveling at how warm and pliant they were, so unlike what she had come to associate with Breq.

 _“It seems I do, yes,”_ Breq answered calmly, a tinge of surprise in her voice.

Seivarden’s mouth found it’s way to Breq’s neck then, and she laved her tongue over her trachea, smiling at the thought of Breq singing, and how her tongue would tickle if she did.

Breq seemed to read that thought, but was good enough to not comment. Instead, her hands came up and tangled in Seivarden’s hair, not tugging this time, but guiding her where she liked all the same. Seivarden muttered a low sound as Breq pulled her closer, causing Seivarden’s chest to press against her, her hands trapped between the two of them as Seivarden pinched Breq’s nipples. They found each other’s mouths again, any uneasiness gone as Breq licked across Seivarden’s lips and then buried her tongue behind them.

 _“This is really fucking hot,”_ Seivarden threw against Breq’s mind, not stopping to regret it as she pulled back far enough to watch her own hands as she tugged at Breq’s nipples more roughly.

 _“It is,”_ Breq offered in response, her eyes closing at the somewhat unexpected effectiveness of Seivarden’s efforts.

Seivarden looked up, a flash of her arrogance showing on her face before she ducked down, taking one of Breq’s nipples between her teeth. She smiled, her tongue darting around Breq’s nipple behind her teeth. Above her, she heard the smallest of sighs, and then quicker than she could see, Breq’s hand was around her throat, pushing her back and up, Breq’s fingers fanned out around her chin, forcing Seivarden’s gaze to the ceiling.

 _“Shit,”_ Seivarden thought, her hands coming up in the air around her in a show of submission.

Almost as quickly as it had happened, Breq released her, settling her hands on Seivarden’s hips, her expression pained, and slightly regretful.

“Forgive me. It’s strange to not see it coming. I reacted before I thought,” Breq said in a soft voice.

Seivarden blinked, paying little mind to the apology though she nodded in understanding. She reached a hand to her throat, as if testing it, feeling the phantom touch of Breq’s fingers around her neck. She looked up then, lust pooling in the leer she leveled at Breq.

Breq knew what she wanted before she asked.

Slowly, but firmly, Breq returned her hand to Seivarden’s neck. She was careful to leave her airway clear, but squeezed as hard as she dared, watching as Seivarden’s eyes went half lidded, only the whites visible for a moment. Another second, and Breq lightly pressed her fingernails into the grip as well. Seivarden bit her lip at that, her breathing becoming audible and ragged.

 _“_ Fuck yes _,”_ Seivarden hissed, feeling a secondary pleasure at the strain of using her voice, at how Breq’s fingers slowly slid up her chin until the tip of her index finger slipped into her mouth, at how Breq knew exactly what she wanted.

Breq teased her for a moment, cutting off her air a little, enjoying how Seivarden fought for breath, wanting desperately to keep her promise. Breq pulled her closer, kissed her as she alternated her grip, hard, then soft. Then she stopped, simply holding her in place, bringing Seivarden to eye level, an interesting idea coming to mind.

“Exhale, and then hold your breath.” Breq said simply.

Seivarden obeyed, exhaling quickly, her breath ghosting across Breq’s lips, never questioning why the rules had changed. Breq’s voice was an anchor to everything, and she obeyed it.

Breq watched for a moment more, noticing the subtle sheen of sweat collecting on Seivarden’s dark skin. Then she took a slow, deep breath.

For a moment, Seivarden thought she would sing, but then Breq held it, keeping the air in her lungs as she brought her lips to brush against Seivarden’s.

_“Inhale.”_

Breq closed her lips over Seivarden’s, and exhaled slowly. Delirious with the intimacy of the act, Seivarden whined, her hands hastily scrambling to wrap around Breq’s waist. For a second, she felt like she was in midair, falling.

Breq brought her back, as always, as Seivarden’s mind raced, her thoughts slamming into each other, spiralling into a unified cry of unspoken want.

“I thought you would enjoy that,” Breq said with a quirk of her mouth once she broke the kiss. Seivarden only stared after her, refusing to exhale until the last possible moment. She took a new breath as Breq’s hand found her neck again, this time, pressing backwards, forcing Seivarden’s back onto the cushions that were spread around them.

With Seivarden down, Breq readjusted. She swung one leg over Seivarden’s thighs, straddling her just below the groin, teasingly close to being in contact with her own. Breq’s hand stayed at Seivarden’s throat all the while, forcing Breq to lean over Seivarden.

Seivarden returned her own hands to Breq’s waist, grip tight, her desire to pull Breq against her erection maddeningly clear. Breq watched, her face placid as she felt her own desire coursing through her body's nerves, pulsing, unchecked, slightly uncomfortable. Sex was not foreign, but the disconnect between their bodies continued to disorient her. It seemed being in one body heightened the experience, allowing for buildup and frustration rather than automatic release; that, or Seivarden really was good in bed.

On the pretense of leaning down to nip at Seivarden’s lip, Breq inched upwards, her sex brushing against Seivarden’s length. Seivarden groaned, her nails dragging against Breq’s hips. Breq trailed off their kiss, her mouth changing places with the fingers that had been around Seivarden’s throat. She licked up Seivarden’s trachea like Seivarden had done to her minutes before, smiling as her tongue did tickle, not a song but a low moan, the result of three fingers slipping messily into Seivarden’s mouth.

The sound urged Breq on, her interest fully piqued as she began to slowly rut against her lieutenant, her fingers slipping in and out of Seivarden’s open mouth in time with her hips. She pulled her fingers back, swirling saliva against Seivarden’s swollen lips, knowing how obscene it would be to her. She let Seivarden see that she did it purposefully, hoping it would layer even more lewdness onto the act.

Seivarden’s moans crested and fell with little pause between them as Breq worked, a melody of pleasure that Breq had failed to consider when they had begun. She’d seen it before, known that her crew could be, at times, loud when they were intimate, but she’d put it out of mind, like most of the private moments she had been forcibly privy to as a ship, as captain. And as with her ancillaries, sex had been one of the few times Breq had purposefully refrained from using her voices, not thinking to connect the two actions.

Breq tilted her head, her ear close to Seivarden’s mouth, taking in her sonant pleasure as her lips found Seivarden’s own ear. Her tongue darted out, licking the shell of it, causing another clamor of whining from Seivarden.

“You’re loud,” Breq whispered against Seivarden’s temple, her fingers pausing briefly in their lazy exploration of Seivarden’s mouth.

 _“I’m sorry. I can be quiet.”_ Seivarden sent hastily, misinterpreting Breq’s words completely.

“I’d rather you weren’t, actually.”

Seivarden paused, glancing side-eyed at Breq in disbelief, catching a hint of a smile on Breq’s face as a she did.

“Breq, do you know how many jokes Crew has made about this befo-”

Breq interrupted her, forcing three fingers deeper into Seivarden’s mouth, hard enough to get her point across.

“I’m aware.”

Breq caught Seivarden’s eye again, her smile still on her lips, though now her gaze was dangerous. Seivarden bucked beneath her, and Breq met her, the sudden, sweet friction eliciting a loud groan from Seivarden that died into softer whines. Suddenly, Breq was overcome with the need to do it again.

Still clothed from the waist down, Breq positioned herself so that with each roll of her hips, her clit dragged across Seivarden’s shaft, the friction satisfying in a way Breq had very little memory of experiencing before.

She upped the pace, rocking her hips in an even tempo, finding and losing that sweet shock of pleasure again and again. Seivarden’s moans were back, her comment about Crew’s assumptions forgotten, drowned out by her own voice. Breq closed her eyes, focusing on the sounds, trying to anchor herself in the moment, disregarding the creep of unease at not being in control of both of their bodies. Somehow, Seivarden seemed to sense that, and Breq saw a flash of worry break through the bliss. Breq sent her a touch of reassurance, and Seivarden eased.

Breq withdrew her fingers from Seivarden’s mouth, trailing them down to grip her shoulder, Breq’s thumb curling against Seivarden’s collarbone. The resistance made it easier to thrust, a counterpoint to her force. Each time she brushed the tip of Seivarden’s cock, Seivarden would gasp. Each time she dragged downwards slowly, a low moan. As they rutted together, Breq found herself moving with purpose, enjoying the ability to control Seivarden, even in this small way.

Feeling the unmistakable coil of arousal begin to peak, Breq switched her grip, spreading one hand open-palmed against Seivarden’s chest, the other grabbing her hip roughly. Seivarden looked up to her, watching with shameless awe at how Breq worked them, effortlessly.

It took Seivarden a moment to realize Breq intended to come this way.

“Wait, shit - Are you close?” Seivarden said quickly, confusion creasing with arousal in her expression.

_“Yes.”_

Without slowing her pace, Breq met Seivarden’s gaze. She realized, belatedly, that Seivarden had had no way of telling her state of arousal. She let that thought slip to Seivarden, hoping it would be enough to convey her pleasure.

Seivarden’s eyes went wide as the thought entered her mind, her brow screwed up and her regal nose scrunched in consternation.

“Breq, when you, shit- when you come, I want to see.”

Breq understood what she meant.

“I can make an attempt, but it’s a little difficult to focus during orgasm; with one body, I mean.”

“Well, okay yeah, just - Anything, just, anything you’re willing to give, I want.”

 _“That much is obvious.”_ Breq answered silently, without malice. Seivarden hummed, a feint of protest that was easily transparent.

Breq increased her speed then, rutting against Seivarden with more erratic arcs. She tried to think as she felt the shocks of pleasure hit her, slowly threatening to spill over into release. What was her face supposed to look like? She thought back then, to one of the few times she’d watched Seivarden with Ekalu. Then it seemed obvious.

Breq’s brows knit, her mouth hanging open slightly as she leaned down, adjusting her angle to draw out the pleasure, trying to hold it, to keep it for longer and longer, with each roll of her hips. Seivarden watched at rapt attention, her own pleasure at the stimulation and sight of Breq on top of her threatening to beat Breq to her end.

_“If you can manage it, don’t come when I do.”_

_“What? I - I mean that’s gonna be pretty fucking hard to do, but okay.”_

Breq held Seivarden’s hesitation and frustration in her mind, savored it a moment, letting it fuel her lust. Seivarden saw this, turned on more than she would admit by the fact that Breq would get off on her denial, scrambling her thoughts. But she complied, hoping Breq had something sweeter in store for her. Without words, Breq silently projected images into Seivarden’s mind, a silent promise of what she’d reward her with if Seivarden controlled herself.

“Shit. Holy shit, Breq… fuck!” Seivarden hissed in heavy, uneven breaths that quickly turned into groans. Her head thrashed to the side, as if in attempt to shake off some of the intensity of the moment.

Then, in attempt to distract herself, Seivarden’s hands left Breq’s hips and found her breasts. She cupped them in her palms, the thumb and forefinger of each hand rolling Breq’s nipples between them. Breq felt a sound leave her lips, the involuntariness of it frightening, but equally thrilling. Seivarden’s face split into a triumphant smile at the noise, and it was enough to tip Breq over the edge.

Breq’s head tilted back, her shoulders squared, as she she crested into release. Her orgasm seized her, and more sound spilled from her mouth, unbidden. The sounds continued, seemingly forced from deep within her, a vibration from the snap of release, finding outlet in the only part of her that ever made her feel truly comfortable - her voice.

Seivarden’s hands ran up Breq’s chest, smoothing over her skin and resting on her neck as the aftershocks pulsed through her captain. She’d forgotten about her own pleasure, unbelievably, as Breq took hers, instead focusing on taking in every sound, every detail of the moment hungrily. She laid there, silent, realizing that she was the first person in all of Breq’s thousands of lives to see her in pleasure like this.

As Breq came down, she returned her attention to Seivarden. Her fingers danced upwards from Seivarden’s hips, trailing lightly over her stomach. Seivarden hummed appreciatively, her expression much softer than before.

“That was…” Seivarden said, words failing her, “I mean how was it, compared to when you…?”

Breq gave her a dubious look, letting her lips pout slightly.

“I could answer that, or we could continue.”

Seivarden swallowed, the sudden twitch in her pants an easy tell for her choice. Without waiting for a reply, Breq brushed her fingertips down until they rested on the hem of Seivarden’s pants. The tips of her fingers curled over, teasing in their promise of what came next.

From Seivarden’s point of view, the entire room shifted, as if everything up until that point had been a dream, an artifice of Seivarden’s desires. She looked up at Breq straddling her, watching as her fingers teased at the clasp of her pants.

“Are you really going to do _that_ , Breq?” Seivarden asked, incredulous.

“I am, unless you do not wish it,” Breq replied, her fingers pausing as the first clasp fell open, revealing the beginnings of fine hairs slowly thickening below.

Seivarden blinked slowly, Breq’s words barely registering as she heard the soft click of her pants being undone. She nodded, then sent a silent plea for Breq to continue, her face warming as she did.

Nimbly, yet with a certain languor, Breq undid the next three clasps. Inching back slightly, Breq tugged at the hem, revealing the dull grey of Seivarden’s underwear. Freed now from the confines of her uniform pants, her erection sprang up, tenting the fabric of her undergarment.

Breq felt the steel of Seivarden’s nerves against her thoughts, watched as her lieutenant tried distill her features, an attempt to feign disinterest in Breq’s reaction. Breq let a tendril of amusement find Seivarden’s thoughts, enjoying the crack in Seivarden’s facade, the smallest hint of dismay pouting her lips.

“I would tell you that you are physically attractive, but you already know that,” Breq said, a half effort to placate her. Seivarden’s eyebrows twitched, nostrils flaring as she let the almost-compliment wash over her.

“I do, but it’s different to hear someone else say it, you especially,” Seivarden said carefully, knowing this particular conversation had gotten her in trouble with others.

“It’s an obvious thing to see, even allowing for personal preference and cultural influences,” Breq said in her usual muted tone. Then, a second passed, and her lip curled upward as she trailed her index finger softly down Seivarden’s length. As Seivarden gasped at the contact, Breq sent her a collection of her memories: Seivarden’s hair being braided by one of her Amaats, a gentle smile on her face. Seivarden in the gym, sweating through her routine. Seivarden slipping out of the bath, back turned, as Breq’s gaze lingered after her a moment longer than strictly necessary.

Seivarden’s mouth fell open softly, replaying the images in her head even as Breq slipped her finger tips under her waistband, pulling Seivarden’s erection free. Not bothering to remove her clothing completely, Breq pulled down on the fabric just enough to give herself room to work. Seivarden shivered as her mind drifted back to the present, her mouth still hanging open in a rather unbecoming way.

The moment Breq’s fingers finally brushed her bare cock, Seivarden’s voice filled the room again; a low groan as if she’d been struck, rose into a whine. Breq stretched forward, her fingers lightly curling around Seivarden’s shaft with one hand while the other made its way back to her mouth.

With teasingly light strokes, Breq tested Seivarden’s body, adjusting to Seivarden’s preferences as she read both her movements and thoughts with each touch. Seivarden panted around two of Breq’s fingers, her moaning getting louder with each flick of Breq’s wrist.

Several thoughts cropped up in Seivarden’s head, forming and dying even before Breq could properly read them, each of them muddled beyond the comprehension of a few words. Breq could only make out “more” and her own name, for certain.

Seivarden bucked into Breq’s grip, impatient as ever. Breq tightened her grip, pleased when Seivarden’s breathing went erratic, Seivarden’s hands going up to knit into her long hair. Breq hummed, catching Seivarden’s eye with the sound, fixing her with a piercing gaze.

_“Shit. Fuck! Breq that’s, that’s good like that, I…”_

“Out loud, Seivarden.”

Seivarden groaned, tossing her head as Breq pulled off, denying Seivarden the pleasure she’d been working up with her strokes. For a moment, Seivarden leveled a caustic glare at Breq, her indignation blazing across her aristocratic features like a ship in warp. But then, Seivarden’s head dropped, defeated, to the cushions below her. She stilled, and then took a deep breath.

“It feels good, what you’re doing,” she bit out, as Breq’s fingers brushed her lightly enough to sustain a maddening sense of arousal without the friction she needed to carry it to orgasm. Breq nodded her approval, gripping her tighter, and slowly dragged her closed hand up to the crown of Seivarden’s cock.

“Fuck. Fuck, Breq... shit! Your hands - I can’t believe… Fuck! Don’t stop.” Seivarden stammered out and Breq’s pace quickened, no longer needing to tease her now that Seivarden’s mouth was running. She pumped her as she had done to herself, in another body, in countless other bodies, the vague sense of disconnect hovering over her consciousness. It dawned on her, as Seivarden’s moans turned into stuttered shouts, that she wouldn’t be able to actually tell when the moment came.

_“Seivarden.”_

“Yes?!” Seivarden yelped, her tempo peaking as she began to thrust into Breq’s hand.

_“I need to know when you’re close.”_

“Pretty sure I am right now,” Seivarden breathed quickly, her eyes screwing shut, for some reason trying to hold off until Breq gave her some sign - permission. She sighed when Breq leaned close to her ear again, all the while continuing to stroke Seivarden steadily.

With her free hand, Breq cupped Seivarden’s face, pulling her towards her until Breq’s lips brushed the lobe of her ear. She moved to cover Seivarden’s mouth, her whines of protest slipping through Breq’s fingers, regardless. Breq worked her on what she supposed was the edge of her limit, feeling warm spurts of precome begin to slick her palm.

Considering the absurdity of the moment, Breq wondered at the events that led up to her being here. But Breq didn’t wonder long, and suddenly words were spilling from her mouth again. Breq was unsure where the words were coming from, but knew, at least, that she very much wanted what they asked.

“When you come, I want to hear it,” She whispered low into Seivarden’s ear, “When you come, will you sing for me?”

A groan bubbled from deep within Seivarden, the sound reverberating in the room as Breq withdrew the hand over her lieutenant’s mouth, gently wrapping her fingers around her throat instead, feeling the tickle of vibration from Seivarden’s chorus of pleasure. Seivarden wanted to answer, wanted to say she would do as Breq asked, to indulge her in any way she wished. She seemed to forget, as she worried herself into a mess, that Breq could read her thoughts, and already knew she would, even before she’d asked.

And then quickly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Breq was working Seivarden over the edge. Seivarden keened as the first wave of her orgasm hit her, and Breq lifted her head, watching as Seivarden unraveled, her voice breaking and bottoming out into an erratic choral series of moans.

Breq continued to stroke her, as come striped Seivarden’s stomach, much of it landing on Breq’s hand, making its way between her fingers in a few heavy, warm spurts. Even as she came down, Seivarden continued her measures, a string of strained notes for Breq to collect.

Breq held her close, and she dropped down next to Seivarden, laying against her side. She kept her hand around her length, even as Seivarden softened, waiting until she returned from the haze of aftershocks that Breq could feel dancing across her skin.

“Breq,” Seivarden said in a hoarse voice, coughing a little at the dryness in the back of her throat.

“You don’t have to speak now, if it’s easier,” Breq said back in her flat tone as she slowly removed her hand from Seivarden’s softening cock.

_“That was fucking ridiculous.”_

“It was a little ridiculous, yes. I hadn’t intended for any of that, honestly. Yet here we are, I suppose.”

Seivarden’s mind clouded with despair at that, her eyes narrowing at Breq. Breq realized her misstep, and thinking of no other logical course of action, lifted her soiled hand to her mouth, licking it clean for Seivarden to watch, mouth agape once again.

 _“I’m not saying it wasn’t enjoyable,”_ Breq said silently as she sucked down to the knuckle on her index finger, _“only that I hadn’t planned it.”_

Seivarden processed the words belatedly, disbelief still on her face as she watched the obscene way Breq licked between her fingers. She seemed to consider their meaning, as her eyes followed the flick of Breq’s tongue over the webbing of her palm.

 _“You’re shit at plans, Breq,”_ Seivarden said silently even as an incredulous laugh left her lips.

Breq raised an eyebrow at that, finishing off the last of the remnants of come from her hand. She tucked her arm around Seivarden’s waist, perfectly content to lie there on the floor with her lieutenant rather than make the effort to move to their bed.

“You’re right, I am shit at plans. And yet, every time I’ve walked into something blindly, I’ve come out better for it. Are you complaining, lieutenant?”

Seivarden laughed again, hastily pulling her underwear up and her pants down until she was comfortably wrapped around Breq, her arm tucked under Breq’s head. She sighed, content in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever experienced before. Breq felt it too, both from Seivarden and her in own thoughts.

“At least you got a new song out of it,” Seivarden teased minutes later as she began to drift into sleep. Next to her Breq shifted, a small sigh escaping her lips.

“Yes. You’ll have to sing for me again. You’ve got a lovely voice, Seivarden.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to bother me at [my tumblr](http://darling-child-tisarwat.tumblr.com/) with literally anything to do with Imperial Radch.


End file.
